What do you want?

(WARNING: This may sound like a whiny emo-kid ramble!)

A friend asked me and my social circle “What do you want to do before your next landmark birthday?” We went away and had a think about it. I think it’s the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.

I had one of those chats that go on till four in the morning with a close friend, and we discussed this. Hers were quite easy for her, including visiting a foreign country, joining the mile high club, and going to a music festival. Mine were much more difficult. Although I haven’t led an amazingly exciting life, most of her list I’ve already done (gone abroad), or wasn’t interested in (I’ve been inside an aeroplane toilet, so see no attraction to having sex there!)

Also, my interests have changed over the last few years. Asking me the same question five years ago would have brought out things like “Visit Japan”, something I’m not that fussed about now, as l only wanted to go for very shallow reasons that no longer apply. I’d have also included go out ‘dressed’ (done several times since), or held a snake (did a few weeks ago.).

There are a few things I want to do that really aren’t such a god idea in practice. For example I want a corset. But although this is great in theory, in practice I’ve got nowhere to wear it, I wouldn’t wear it enough to justify the expense, I don’t have the room, and I’ve no-one to lace it up. Several other require money I’m not willing to spend , or require a level of trust I’m not willing to make with the people I currently know (eg bondage play)

I think I have found maybe five.

1. Find a job I don’t hate (we all had this one first!)


2. Find someone I love, that loves me (vague I know)


3. Go to an Ann Summers Party (tricky with the no-guys rule, but we might be able to work something)


4. Have a food fight (location is tricky, but I’m sure I’m not the only one)


5. Regain my local fame (I used to be a big fish in a small pond, and getting that back would be enough)

But other than that, I don’t know.

There’s no where I want to go particularly and there are no specific sexual practices that I want to do enough to include (or share with my friends!).

I wish I wasn’t so aimless.