How to tell if you're a Bogan

You've ever worn trackpants with ugg boots.

You know the lyrics to Cold Chisel, AC/DC and any other Aussie rock band. Ah fark it, if you like any heavy metal or rock.. then you're a deadset bogan mate :P

You get drunk at a pub on karaoke night and STILL know the words to Cold Chisel, AC/DC or any other Aussie rock band.

You call moccasins, ugg boots and trackpants.. moccos, uggies and trackydaks.

You have Au de Bogan: a mixture of ciggie smoke, a fish and chip shop, exhaust smoke from your v8 and Jim Beam.

You still care about the Earth bro. Your recycling bin is full of jimmy, JD, wild turkey and VB bottles and cans. You do your part for the environment. Drinking. Fuckin' oath.

You have any couches, shells of cars, car parts, broken kids toys or garbage on your front lawn, in your driveway and on your street.

You scratch yourself. Everywhere. In Public. More so if someone is looking. Whatcha lookin' at?

Shave? Why would you do that. Female OR Male bogan.

Kath and Kim is rather like real life to you.

Your fave outfit is a Wife beater tank in dark blue, black Collingwood shorts and your worn out thongs.

Your stubby holder says "My wife told me to choose between her and beer. God I miss her."

You don't need a hairdresser. Mullets are always in style.

You've been in a fist fight, glassing at the local, cat fight, all in brawl, footy fan fight or anything where intelligence couldn't get you out of trouble.

Cops are always harassing you. Bloody pigs. I ain't drunk ya knob. It's bloody 3am. I ain't goin' home... *voice trails off in a slur*

You can open beer bottles with your teeth. Go son.

You use the words "aye" "arvo" "bloody" "fark" "cold one" "good onya" "mongrel" "old fella" or "piss"

You have a bestmate called Chook and a girlfriend named Shazza.

You state your favourite AFL team as your religion.

You have a giant holden sticker across your VK Holden's back window. Like we can't tell you're driving a bloody Holden ya goose.

Dinner is a minimium chips, burger with the lot and a cold one.

You have to be Australian to understand. I almost was possessed by a Bogan while writing this up. Shall add more as Bogans send me them.